Believe What You Hear

Dear Dr. Jim,
Am I missing the non-verbals during our virtual meetings? How can I ensure I’m not missing people’s true feelings or issues?
– Anika*

 

Hi Anika*,

Rather than trying to figure out what the non-verbals mean, I would encourage you to listen very carefully—using active listening—because often we are off track.

Repeat back ‘I heard you say’ or ‘are you saying this?’ Focus on what you’re hearing people say. I believe there is too much emphasize put on body language and other things which leads to a lot of assumptions. Stick with what you are hearing. Stick with what you are actually seeing.

Something we do at Vivo Team, we call it the video test, is we look at people’s behaviors and listen very carefully to what people are saying and repeat it back for clarity.
– Dr. Jim

 

*names have been changed